This week, Captain Reynolds and Mrs. Captain Reynolds (Saffron) deal with a rocky first day of matrimony. Partly because the good captain doesn't 100% remember getting married, partly because Saffron keeps kissing and/or kicking the crew. But, hey, every marriage takes a bit of work, ya know? Thanks for listening!

Time to learn a bit more about the renegade siblings, Simon and River! The brother/sister genius duo find themselves kidnapped this week by a town of folk needin' a doctor. Which is pretty chill, all things considered. Unfortunately, the chill doctorin' turns into a witch trial quicker n' you can slap a cow. Thanks for listening!

Howdy listeners! I wish we could give you a vague overview of the main plot for this week's episode. Unfortunately, though, none of us were there. Mal got cut by a sword and Kaylee got a sweet pink dress. Something about a duel? Anyway, the rest of us had a pretty uneventful time on the ship playing "cards" for chore coupons. Thanks for listening!

Welcome aboard, listeners! This week we go on a spooky salvage mission. Turns out it wasn't engine trouble after all. The alliance is snooping around us snooping around, and they have some pointed questions. Thank goodness Wash is there to clear things up. Thanks for listening!